![\"girls](\"https:\/\/apps1.devmaverick.com\/prw\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/12\/When-Did-My-Friends-Get-So-Expensive-Blog-Post-Header.jpg\" "\\"Friends")
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Back in May, as part of our road trip around the western U.S., Daniel and I spent five nights in San Francisco visiting friends and exploring the city. Many of our best friends live in the Bay Area, and we were excited to catch up with them in person.<\/p>\n
Two of our good friends are a couple \u2013 one a director for a prominent tech company, the other an account manager for a financial services firm \u2013 and I suggested that we meet up one night.<\/p>\n
\u201cDinner somewhere?\u201d our friend texted.<\/p>\n
\u201cDefinitely!\u201d I replied. \u201cWe\u2019re unemployed, so something on the more affordable side would be preferred.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cHow about this place? Very good, moderate price.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSounds great,\u201d I replied, not having looked up the restaurant.<\/p>\n
From the back seat of our UberPool toward the Financial District, I searched for the menu on the restaurant\u2019s web site.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh, jeez,\u201d I told Daniel, \u201cthis place has a Michelin star!\u201d<\/p>\n
We had a lovely dinner with our friends. It was fun to see them, and it was great to reminisce and catch up. The restaurant\u2019s rabbit curry ($38) was delicious \u2013 and perhaps large enough to satisfy the appetite of a three-year-old. I resisted ordering more than one beer at the $9 per bottle price tag. Ninety minutes and two hundred dollars later, we hugged our friends and said farewell.<\/p>\n
\u201cWelp, that was an interesting way to blow a big chunk of our monthly travel budget!\u201d Daniel laughed.<\/p>\n
One of our main goals for traveling this year has been more time with our friends and family. Over the past few months, we\u2019ve spent time with dozens of people we wouldn\u2019t normally see, and it\u2019s been one of the most satisfying parts of our experience. We wouldn\u2019t trade it for anything.<\/p>\n
But, man, when did time with my friends get so expensive? \u201cSocializing\u201d might be our single largest category of travel spending \u2013 maybe even larger than \u201cPlaces to Sleep.\u201d<\/p>\n
In some cases, we\u2019ve expected it. There are certain people in our lives who have very different spending habits from ours. When we\u2019re with them, we\u2019re used to spending more money or suggesting alternative activities. For my cousin and her partner in Los Angeles, for example, walking to the wine shop down the street and spending $100 on a couple bottles is a completely normal weekly affair. In our experience, friends like these still tend to be receptive to a simple reminder that we\u2019re not working right now and would prefer to keep things affordable.<\/p>\n
But there\u2019s been a more surprising culprit, too. When traveling with friends and family \u2013 even the more frugal types \u2013 there\u2019s a huge difference in the way we\u2019re approaching our travels:<\/p>\n
They\u2019re on vacation. We\u2019re not.<\/p>\n
The mindset of full-time travel is quite different from that of a week\u2019s holiday. We\u2019re far from ultra-frugal, but we\u2019re also not staying in fancy hotels or resorts. We\u2019re not dining at all the finest restaurants. There will be no spa visits or massages. We might not see every single museum or roadside attraction along our route, and that\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n
We can\u2019t afford to treat every day like a special occasion.<\/p>\n
Even if we could, we wouldn\u2019t want to. \u201cSpecialness\u201d wears out pretty quickly when it\u2019s an everyday experience.<\/p>\n
Take our week in Utah with Daniel\u2019s parents, for example. For them, it was a rare week away from work, and each night was cause for a celebratory dinner with $25 entrees and a bottle of wine. For us, it was just one of many nice days exploring our National Parks. I certainly don\u2019t mean to suggest that we didn\u2019t greatly enjoy their company. We just can\u2019t afford to treat every day like a special occasion.<\/p>\n
More recently, we met my college friends in Istanbul. For them, it was their only real vacation of the year, warranting the occasional upscale hotel, restaurants with sunset views, and an $80 two-hour boat cruise along the Bosphorus. Nothing crazy, but many more splurges than during a typical week at home. For us, it was just one week of many in a beautiful new city. We loved their company, but we can\u2019t treat every day like a special occasion.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve also been traveling at a blistering pace, moving rapidly from site to site to check as many boxes as possible during our friends\u2019 brief holidays. It\u2019s been fun and exciting, but frankly, I\u2019m exhausted.<\/p>\n
Our last travel companion flew home from Budapest this morning, so we\u2019re finally traveling solo again. With the exception of a happenstance meet-up with Daniel\u2019s extended family in Slovenia, it will be just us for the next two months \u2013 by far our longest period of travel without friends and family in tow. My hope is that we\u2019ll be able to slow down our travels significantly \u2013 and more carefully manage our full-time travel spending without the pressure of the vacation mindset.<\/p>\n
Are we alone in struggling with frugality when with friends and family, or do you have similar experiences? We\u2019re all ears for your advice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Back in May, as part of our road trip around the western U.S., Daniel and I spent five nights in San Francisco visiting friends and exploring the city. Many of our best friends live in the Bay Area, and we were excited to catch up with them in person. Two of our good friends are<\/p>\n